some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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