I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
