some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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