i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
