making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
