I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
