You're my little dorito
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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