I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Randomize
