Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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