Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
