strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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