I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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