I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
