she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
