this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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