What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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