So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
