its not stalking. its research.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
A bitchslap is in order.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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