So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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