you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
