i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
