I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
