Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
