I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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