sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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