I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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