whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
