fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
