What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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