I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
