Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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