You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
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