Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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