And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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