That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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