im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
