i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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