the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm passing your future prison.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
