My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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