Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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