I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i black out too much to be "responsible"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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