So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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