it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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