i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
