Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
