all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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