when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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