How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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