No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
BRING THE BAGELS
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
