I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
