Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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